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The Christmas Turkey
I'm going to begin with a personal story which while very funny had some very serious consequences too.
When I was about four years old, my family were preparing for the festive season, and my Mum as usual was very busy. On this particular day she was preparing the turkey (I grew in a hot country so we ate cold turkey on Christmas day). She asked my Dad if he was'nt too busy could he please help out and watch the turkey for her?
He agreed and she gave him rather precise instructions as to what to do for the turkey to come out perfectly cooked.
Off she went to complete her shopping and returned four hours later only to discover my father, sitting there, rather red faced, in sheer distress and his fingers burnt red and glowing.
He was in the first instance glowering that she has left him as a completely inexperienced individual to do the obviously very complicated job and secondly he was totally perplexed having followed her instruction meticulously as to why she had never suffered similar injuries.
She asked what he had done? He replied quite concisely that he had given the turkey a quarter turn every fifteen minutes as she had instructed to ensure a smooth roast. She still couldn't work out how his injuries had happened, until she saw the turkey.....
The turkey was severely misshapen.
My unsuspecting father rather than turning the pan the turkey was roasting in- with oven gloves on, a quarter turn that , interpreted the instruction to turn the actual turkey in the pan. He had done this painstakingly attempting to physically turn the turkey a perfect quarter (no gloves on,what was he thinking!) and left it to roast for another fifteen minutes only to return to repeat the turning of the bird. In total the turkey had been turned to lie at a different angle no less than sixteen times and as a result taken on a rather odd shape.
My mother after nursing his fingers, patching him up and discreetly leaving the room, couldn't stop laughing. Neither could the neighbourhood women when the story spread. My Dads bravery in the oven became legendary locally, even amongst the men, needless to say, he never attempted to roast a turkey again.
The turkey was and still is apparently the tastiest turkey my family have ever eaten.......go figure.